Smile Empty Soul
by kellymead26
Summary: Bella and Edward, a recovering drug- addict, meet the summer before Bella is to leave for college in Seattle and Edward is going into the army. 5 years later they both return. Romance and angst ensue. Rated M just to be safe.


**Summary: Bella and Edward meet the summer before Bella goes to college in Seattle and Edward enters the army as an active physician. 5 years later Bella returns home and Edward returns due to injury. They meet again. Passion, Love, and Loss ensues. Romance/ Angst**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

**Chapter 1: Bottom of a Bottle**

I absolutely hated going to these stupid family reunions. Especially when it's not even _my_ family. But Jasper insisted that I go every single freaking year. Claiming that he would never be allowed to leave if he didn't someone along that could feign an illness of some kind and get away with it. So, like the good friend I am, I went. Every. Single. _Freaking. _Year. I don't think I'd mind so much if Jasper wouldn't try to set me up with one if cousins or sisters. Oh, and don't let me forget the time he tried to force me upon his drunken aunt. I mean, it's not like I don't like women. Cause believe me, I _love_ women. It's just that I've had enough of the girls that will throw herself at a gay after two hours of having met each other. I just.. I want something more. And I know I'm not going to find it at one of my friend's family reunion. Everybody here is ether married, seeing someone, alcoholics, or 14. Not exactly the best pickings.

"Hey, what's the matter with you! Cheer up! We're going to see Aunt Cindy. You remember her don't you?" Jasper snickered.

"Oh, how could I ever forget the damsel n distress who quote unquote 'just wants some good lovin'.'" I laughed "If she's there again this year, I am hiding in the car. Got it?"

"Don't worry you big baby," he laughed. "She met some new 'young thing' named Thomas."

"Thank God!"

"Oh, you get to meet Bella this year!" he said a little too cheerfully.

"Don't even think about it Jasper! I am not going to _entertain_ anybody that is attending this reunion."

"Why? A couple years ago you would have loved this," he grumbled.

"And you know exactly why I loved it. I was to doped up to realize what I was doing."

"Just because you're..uh, recovering, doesn't mean you can't have fun. I mean, really when is the last time you slept with someone, Edward?"

"Two years," I mumbled.

"Exactly. I don't get why you are punishing yourself Edward. So you screwed up before. But you got yourself back on track. And I understand that addicts never really recover and all that shit, but just because you have to refrain from those activities doesn't mean you have to refrain from _everything_. Including have sex with a pretty girl every once in awhile," he chuckled lightly.

I clenched my fists tightly inside my pockets and tried to explain in the calmest voice I could acquire. "You don't understand. I'm waiting."

"For what?" he demanded.

"I don't know," I snapped at him. "Just, someone."

For the next half hour no words were spoken until we arrived at his Grandmother's house. He parked his car and then turned to face me. "Edward?"

"What?"

"I want you to meet Bella." I tried to interrupt but he held his hand up and continued talking before I could say a word. "I want you to meet her. You don't have to take her home or even talk to her for more time than what is polite. And I swear if you do this I won't ever showcase you to my family's most eligible maidens ever again."

I sighed and then decide that it wouldn't be to bad. I'd only have to talk to her for about ten minutes then I'd never have to see any of them again. "Fine, I'll do it. But I'm only talking to her for ten minutes. And if she won't let me go you need to distract her so I can run away."

"Nice choice of words," he laughed.

I just shrugged my shoulders and got out of the car. Jasper got out and we walked over to the tent with the food. Jasper saying hi to everyone he saw.

"How many people do you think are here?" I asked him as I filled my plate with a chili dog and home-made potato salad.

"I don't know," he answered. "Maybe around two hundred or so." We sat down at one of the picnic tables sat out.

"Jeez! Do you even know all these people?"

"No. Some of them aren't really family. Some are friends or neighbors. And some are just people who saw the sign down the road that says 'family reunion: Barbecue' in big block letters," he laughed. "Hey," he said as he looked at something behind me. " you want to go meet Bella now?"

"We just got here. I prefer not to be tortured until it's late enough that I can just leave afterward," I told him.

"To bad. Here she comes." He stood up at then the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen was hugging him. He picked her up and spun her around. And she laughed the most beautiful laugh I'd ever heard. She most be an angel. Jasper set her down but they continued to laugh until I cleared my throat, wanting this woman to notice me. And notice me she did. She turned to face me and froze, her eyes wide, her smile going slack. She was frowning at me. So not what I'd hoped for.

"Bella this is Edward," Jasper informed her. "Edward, Bella"

"Hello," I said politely. She smiled and shook my outstretched hand.

"Hello." I'd never met someone who's _voice_ could reduce my body to a withering mess.... Until now. Jasper cleared his throat. Bella's face flushed a glorious shade of red that made me wonder where else it had spread. Bella dropped her hand from mine and cleared her own throat before speaking to Jasper.

"Where's Alice Jazz? Why didn't you bring her to meet the family?"

"She's coming. But she had to go into work this morning so she's just driving separately."

"Well when she gets here I want to be the first to see her. I brought some of the pictures from my photo album at home. And I just might have brought some taken when you would play dress up with me." She smirked when Jasper paled.

"You wouldn't."

"I so would." Jasper huffed and walked away. I think part of it was for dramatics but the other part may have been the hand jesters I was giving him so he would leave me and Bella alone.

"Dress up, huh?" I asked her when she turned toward me.

"Yea, I always use to make Jasper play the baby girl." She smiled fondly at the memory.

"Why?" I laughed.

"Well, I wanted to be the mommy of course so he couldn't be. And I wouldn't let him be the daddy cause that means I would have to marry him and there's no way I was going to marry _Jasper_ so I made him be the baby," she stated simply.

"But why make him be a baby girl?" I asked incredulously.

"Because baby boys pee all over you." She said it in such a matter-of-fact tone that I burst out laughing. I don't think I'd laughed so much in the past four years. She laughed as well, lightly slapped my chest and told me to shut my mouth or she'd get some pictures of me playing house as well.

After forty-five minutes of talking about her family, if she liked living in Virginia, her job teaching at the high school, and then briefly inquiring about her relationship status, she started asking questions about me. First she asked me what I did for a living and when I answered that in two months I'd be joining the army as an active medical student her mouth hung open in shock.

"Well, I'd say you won the best profession award," she chuckled. I simply shrugged and looked at her. "Are you scared?" she asked.

"I suppose." I laughed when she rolled her eyes at me. "Well I won't actually be shooting anyone or being shot at. I'll just have to fix the people who were, so there's not anything for me to be scared of really."

"Why did you decide to enter the army? I mean you could have just went to a regular college. And from what I heard from Jasper money isn't the issue."

"To escape," I said simply, hoping she'd drop the subject.

"What?" Of course she wouldn't let it go. I knew if I told her the truth she most definitely wouldn't be going home with me like I'd hoped. But I wanted to warn her, because I think if I did take her home tonight I wouldn't want her to leave.

"Drugs," I admitted casually. She cleared her throat and looked away from me, probably looking for an escape. But I don't want her to let me down easy. So I grab her hand, ignoring her wide eyes and muttered protests, I kiss her hand.

"Goodbye Bella," I whisper.

I found Jasper talking to Emmett, his cousin, and told him that I was ready to leave. We said goodbye to everybody then headed back to the car. I knew that it was for the best that I didn't take Bella home because I knew from experience that you regret one-night stands but you only think of them for a week tops so it doesn't really matter. Bella, however, would not have been a one-night stand. Bella would kill me. I would give her everything and she'd rip me to shreds, I knew. Despite my knowledge of how things would work out if I were to ever pursue Bella, it didn't stop the smile from forming on my lips when I saw her leaning against my car while a smile of her own.

"I figure that if you're trying to escape it, you must not be that bad," she stated. "So why'd you start in the first place?" she inquired.

"Love," I explained simply. And at her confused expression I continued, "Love is a drug. It's addictive. It's the best feeling in the world and it will destroy you."


End file.
